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one piece of novel data sucked into a hole of absolute novel data

newspaper for a caffeinated squirrel


the g.e.d. of getting laid

beaver and woodchuck

never cursed

false leads

feed back data more beautiful than what you receive

if it's mellow let it mellow

we have not reached anything near the bottom of hell

my happy life

skeleton dude

what if jesus was just really good at math?

it all boils down to something going into a hole

don't feed me i'm on a diet 

the lost glove is happy

a movie about an evil roofer called the shingling

from the department of good things come in small packages, i present to you my wife ann

hail, bacchus

my favorite brand is home depot

movies and physical objects are both experienced by me as worlds

the internet is not unevil

i can't wait to get my hands on that money

the stones fell like snow

shake my left hand, it's closer to my heart

she could put a smile on the face of a grump

what's the fun of being a teenager if you can't dress weird

i've lost every fight i've ever been in

every instant in this universe is pre-determined but at every instant we fork-off to another universe

bach fathered twenty children

with bud light, you're not just drinking beers you're building friendships

toilet won't stop

dr. needy

just heroes

it's me, the art expert

ate my ration of oats 

i could have written little women

my grandfather was mitochondria

for some slipping a key into a keyhole is as close as it gets

god doesn't want stories, he wants the troot

the liver is the part of the body that lives, it is the liver

love is what makes a subaru a subaru

my roommate is a common house fly

do you think you're better off alone?

my friend called me after he got a happy ending at a massage parlor

the likes come in and it seems like something matters and then the likes slow down and then they stop and then you have to go again to death

more things need to be fifty cents

no matter where you're going toyota will get you there

not beautiful because it's truthful but truthful because it's beautiful

pliny the elder sucks

black belt in annoying

bitch or a babe

proud of this one random person

love and money

peeked at my money

love and journalism

lost a cent

i don't go to my job to see what's written in the port-a-potties, i go to work

it all come out the same slop bucket

i'm technically dead

i'm here toot the horn

pass a barf bag

might be a gardener for halloween

mr. money

abraham j. lincoln

buns for dinner

don't sneak another hundred

ronald big mac

my only friend is a hippie

i just played the prettiest song on the piano

bow tie for a worm

cops r white

oscar for cutest

rice is basically free

what does the bible say about money?

kids are bad out here

life can drain that ass

i'm just texting

brought u guys flowers

fire me

why am i the only one who knows the true meaning of the holidays?

what do u think about random stuff like hell?

have the safest holiday ever

my mom does voices

uninstall ur will

i need cuddling just to save me

i literally can't remember how old i am

los angeles residents are "rattled" by new website

the most amazing thing has happened

nervous about my fate

what's ur taxpayer identification number?

here's a vibrator

parents love me

the youtube generation

open to being used

lots my pets

let's take shits

mazel tov on ur bfa in film

let me see ur best pig face

what if cancer is good for u?

real housewives trapped in a mirror

proctologist shaking his head no

california weenie dog

u were dead

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